There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your kids to do it.
Life’s golden age is when the children are too old to need baby sitters and too young to borrow the family car.
The easiest way to get a kid’s attention is to stand in front of the TV set.
It is hard, if not impossible, to get a child to pay attention to you, especially when you are telling him something for his own good.
What the average man wants to get out of his new car are the kids.
Nothing lengthens the life of your car like marrying-off the last of your children.
Some books you cannot put down and others you dare not put down when there are children in the house.
Watch the kid who is cutting classes at school—he may be training to be congressmen later in life.
Children are unpredictable. You never know how high up the wall they are going to drive you.
When children are seen and not heart it is apt to be through binoculars.
A child’s ear is a delicate instrument that cannot hear a parent’s hoot from the next room, but picks up the faintest tingle of the ice cream man’s bell.
Children always brighten up a home. They never turn out the lights.
Children are like we cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression
The only thing that children wear out faster than shoes are parents and teachers.
Children of today play a game called Zip Code. It is like Post Office but faster.
